THE SEVEN WONDERS OF MODERN AMERICA Something from my little online writers group. David Anderson, Jr. wrote: > Name the SEVEN WONDERS OF MODERN AMERICA. > > Rules: It has to be a unique object built in this century by > Americans, either citizens or government. You must give a reason why > you think these items should be on the list. > DAN'S SEVEN WONDERS OF AMERICA The Cable TV Industry What else would you call an industry that has convinced 85% of the population that they should pay monthly for the privilege of watching "I Love Lucy" and "Family Matters" reruns? Pamela Anderson Lee 90s sex symbol, or miracle of modern science? This bleached blonde bimbo managed to transform herself from nameless poster girl to Playboy centerfold to international superstar "actress" by proving it is possible for the human body, in certain instances, to defy gravity. Graceland Testimonial to the cult of personality The King was able to cultivate, thousands of Americans release the parking brake on their homes and make the religious pilgrimmage to Elvis' mansion to see where He walked, where He spent time with His family and friends, and where He died after taking a Dump in His toilet. Las Vegas Nowhere else on the Earth can a person find the Manhattan Skyline in one-third miniature, a lifesize replica of the Simpsons' cartoon house, two gay men performing with animals in close enough proximity to be considered illegal in most states, giant cowboys and cowgirls, legitimate dance shows with dozens of naked breasts and pyrotechnics, and acres of senior citizens willingly giving up their life savings in twenty-five cent increments. The city area expands on average by three acres a day, so one can only hope the enitre town will eventually be sucked up into the San Andreas fault. The American Legal System Chosing not to follow Shakespeare's suggestion regarding lawyers, our system allows an opportunistic John Q. Public looking for an easy payday to engage in frivilous lawsuits with tax-paid time and money. What a great alternative to the lottery! Someone give me a head injury and call Alan Rothenburg! The Washington Monument Not only a great achievement in construction, it also stands as the greatest phallic symbol in a city where flaccid, balding, rich old men attempt to wield power over the rest of the world. The Internet The former military network that has evolved into the modern communications marvel with its own cottage industries. After billions of dollars worth of technology and energy, and thousands of man-hours upgrading it from its humble beginnings, this amazing feat of scientific progress allows anyone with access to download illegal porn from anywhere in the world within seconds. Back to The Laughing Place! This document was created using FlexED