The Soapbox: Rants and Commentary: Tom Servo, Crow and Mike, Get Ready By David Anderson, Jr -- Out Of My Mind Productions(oommp@webspan.net) This weekend, I twice saw the ads for the upcoming feature film, "Anaconda." Now, I've only seen the commercial, but I think I can guess. A group of scientists, including one good looking hero guy, one good looking damsel girl, and a bevy of red shirted victims, go to the South American rain forest to: a) find something b) do research c) save the ever loving rain forest. While there, they uncover mysterious local legend, of a huge serpent that eats man. (Sounds like Ted Turner to me, but what do I know?) Of course, the stupid, nerdy scientist (you know there's one in there somewhere) accidentally releases it, and it goes after the research team / exploration team. Now, after saying all of this, I only have one question. If I can figure this out so quickly from a 30 second commercial, why on this earth would I want to go see it? After answering that realize this; Someone will. There are people in this country that saw that commercial and said to themselves, "Hey, Gladys, cool new movie coming out. Get me another Billy Beer will you?" Of course, these are the same people that plunked down good money to see, "Alligator", a remarkable film that assumed cold blooded creatures could survive New York City winters. Or did they see talented actors and actresses like Lee Majors and Karen Black in Piranha, which was undoubtedly the inspiration for Anaconda. The film's tag line: If you can't breathe, you can't scream. Change to: We'd love for this film to be as new and as cool as Alien, but we can't, so we'll just rip off it's tag line. All this, and I still can't see Hamlet because of the limited release. There's justice. Tom Servo, Crow and Mike, get ready for "Anaconda!" Back To Rants and Commentary

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