The Soapbox: Rants and Commentary: It Was a Retrospective on ‘NSYNC Composed by Dan O'Leary(dano@cybercomm.net) Can someone please explain this to me? Earlier tonight, I got the inexplicable urge to flip on MTV for the first time in months. Expecting to find another faceless rap group, I find instead one of their new faceless VJs (can the casual user tell Carson Daly from any other male on that station?) hosting a special program. It was a retrospective on ‘NSYNC. Let’s repeat that and make sure it has the right impact. It was a RETROSPECTIVE on ‘NSYNC! The host was sitting on a stool surrounded by overly-excited 16 year-olds sitting on the floor (I assume he was elevated to keep him from drowning in the sea of estrogen) listening to him talk about MTV’s relationship with ‘NSYNC during their career. Some background info: the boy band (a misnomer, since none of them actually play an instrument) has been in the public’s eye about three years. They've released two albums, and have two hit singles (so far) from each. It was ... a RETROSPECTIVE ... on ‘NSYNC! I'll concede these guys can sing, and sing well. But do incredibly young groups like this actually deserve a retrospective? The Stones, Bowie, any group from the 80’s that’s still together creatively, they deserve retrospectives done about them. Hell, even early 90’s bands like Pearl Jam, STP, and Dave Matthews Band deserve retros, since they’ve been working and charting for nearly ten years and each have out over four albums of material. Is this what record companies now consider the lifespan of a group‘s career, when MTV reminisces about ‘NSYNC's history and three-year “veterans” the Spice Girls earn Life Time Achievement Awards? (That’s NOT a joke, by the way.) It was ... a RETROSPECTIVE on ‘NSYNC, for cryin’ out loud! This is almost as bad as Nickelodeon, which has now decided to include kiddie pop bands in their programming. Recent featured artists on Nick have been Aaron Carter (YOUNGER brother to one of the Backstreet Boys), Mandy Moore (who is 18 but looks to have stopped developing around age 12), and the A-Teens (four 18 year-old Swedish hotties who strut onstage and lip-sync to club versions of 23 year-old ABBA tunes...not a joke). I should explain here that I am 33, have been a musician for 20 years, and have been a songwriter for 15 years. And no, I am not some bitter, aging guy who failed at getting a record deal and is now jealous of every new succesful young act. Even if I was trying to get a record deal (I let that dream die around the time I bought my first package of diapers) how the hell could I compete? The album I’m working on now has songs about relationships, space aliens, fashion slaves, stalkers, Armageddon, mental patients, and clichés...and that’s just the humorous ones. How would I ever make it against "Bye ByeBye" (with profound lyrics like “I don’t want to be your fool in this game”) or ABBA songs sung by people I could, technically, have conceived in the first place? At my age, McCartney and Lennon were at the top of their game. Hendrix made groundbreaking albums at 27. Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam is my age (exactly, actually, we share a birthday). Is the retirement age for artists going to drop below 20 at some point? The only ray of light I see is that the production team that gave the world the likes of ‘NSYNC and Brittany Spears has announced they're closing up shop, taking the money, and running back to whichever circle of Hell they spawned from. Maybe they caught a glimpse of the clock and realized Amateur Hour is almost over. Maybe soon we can again look forward to music dominated by those who have lost all their baby teeth. Back To Rants and Commentary

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